the end of October, eh? yea. so i guess i've been west for a couple months already, my how time passes.. i've been feeling a little anxious lately, i can't put a finger on it exactly but i suppose it's a lot of things. the chaos and fear of the unknown are both unsettling yet comforting.
at times when i start to feel a little overwhelmed i have to stop and remind myself that i am blessed. no matter what happens. even the things that hurt are lessons.. maybe even especially. i'm grateful for my 'luck' so far on this mission, even though i'm not sure what all this mission should entail. i suppose survival is the name of the game right now, on more than just a general level.
something kind of eerie happened a few nights ago that had slipped my mind until it happened again last night. i came home and put my key in the main door, and as soon as i did it felt like someone was turning the knob and pulling it open from the inside. not so unreasonable considering there's usually a few people living here at a time, so i just let the door go and it swung open. the lights were off and no one was in the kitchen.
the same thing again when i came back last night, and i had forgotten about the last time, it was just so very strange. and again comforting somehow.. as if the house itself was welcoming me home. i'll just take it as a sign that i'm to be here where i'm at, and that maybe i should stop worrying so much. i am home.
water shelter food warmth love. all accessible. blessed.
alright now, back to reality. gotta go work my first day shift in a couple weeks before flipping back to nights tomorrow. i don't mind, at least it allows me to maintain somewhat of a social life. make a lunch, pack my bag, and hit the streets. it is time. onward..