keep calm.

easier said than done. it's been a couple months since i 'retired'. of course i have a hard time sitting still, and a bad habit of constantly worrying about the future. i haven't been bored, that's for sure. there's always lots to do, learn, read.. enough to keep me engaged. after hanging out around my homie's flat for a month or so, i journeyed to the island to enjoy a 'vacation from retirement' with a friend.

she was house-sitting, and dog walking, for which i was invited to join her.. and that was about the extent of our worries. and of course which cheap sushi we would pick for lunch. well, she had homework, and i had that nagging feeling that i should probably be doing something about my lack of income. my intentions weren't to get out here and find a job right away.. i promised myself some time, by collecting my deferred profit money i'd be able to skip out on the nine to five for a few months and feel out whatever it is i want to do with myself.

it took a few days, but finally for a while i had forgotten what day of the week it was, what number, what month.. success. i had managed to keep calm long enough to just let things float to the surface of my mind from deep within. things i needed to talk over with myself [and with my friend] that needed air. things that i've been curious about but didn't know how to approach, what has really been bothering me, and what my priorities are. i had just enough time alone to feel it, and yet the blessing of the presence of another that reminded me of 'home'.

seems strange i suppose to take a vacation from being retired, but even retirement can be overwhelming with things to do and chores and choices to be made. i'm glad i took it, and took a moment to breathe. i'm back on the mainland now, and i feel more mentally organized than when i left. i know what i want to do [mostly], and now that i have a clue, i know what to ask for when searching for employment. time is worth more than money to me, but unfortunately to be a member of society where all the people live, money is required as well. i'm trying to align the best of both worlds.. i have some learning to do too.

back to the grind [sort of] today, i'm being bombarded with responses to flooding workopolis with my resume for some temp work. apparently i was anxious for nothing, it shouldn't be hard to find a job when i'm ready. for now, i'll see what these places have to offer that will benefit me and support my mission for a stress-less, more-healthy, fulfilling sort of life.