Taking Back Time.

I'm having a hard time with something, I always have. And I know I'm not the only one. I'm just gonna come right out and say it- 40 hour work weeks are bullshit. When we were indie contractors, we basically made our own schedule. We would work when the materials/ stages were ready, and if we finished earlier we'd leave early, still getting the flat rate that we had billed for the job. Our jobs were completed efficiently and on time, and we still had time for our lives. Every once in a while we'd have to do long days to get a project finished, but for the most part, worked on average 30 hours a week. Unfortunately as indie contractors, the work wasn't always guaranteed, so we decided to seek out a company to hire us as a team. 

When we were hired by this company, we did our first week like 'normal' workers. We tried the 8-8.5 hour work days, plus the drive, plus our home and farm chores. The company had a sample of our work ethic, and we had a taste of 40 hour weeks on top of our busy half way homesteading life. Then we had our official 'on the books' hiring meeting. We explained how we love the work, take pride in our work, but can't fit a 40 hour work week plus commute into our lifestyle. Much to our surprise, they were more than willing to work with us, given the quality of work we provide.

It's been over a year. We have it worked out to have every other Friday off. We work 7 hour days, and a four hour day evey other Friday. We're paid biweekly, so we'd work a half day, get our checks, do our banking, groceries and errands with the rest of our 'shift'. 28 and 32 averages to 30 hour weeks, or 60 hour pays. Because of tax brackets and whatnot, we only make roughly 60-80 less a week missing those 10 hours. Let that sink in for a minute..

When we worked 40 hour weeks, we were making 600 more a month combined. But! We had 40 hours *less* time a month. Divide that up, that's only an 'additional' 15 bucks an hour... COMBINED. that means those 'extra' 10 hours a week, we were only taking home an extra $7.50 an hour each because working more hours meant we were making more money- and thus had more deductions taken. Plus we save on fuel and miscellaneous spending that happens when we go to work. After all said and done, we're basically giving those extra 10 hours a week away for free. Going to work every day costs time *and* money.

And to what advantage? The company doesn't get any more or better quality work out of me. In fact, longer days means I'm more exhausted the next day and production slows down. It's an observable fact that we as 30 hour a week workers get more done than the "full timers". The company benefits by getting the same or more and better quality work without having to pay for more hours. We get more hours a week to live our lives. Win, win.

There's 168 hours in a week. I spend roughly 50 hours a week sleeping or resting, that leaves 118. My 30 hours working, so 88 left. 13 hours average commuting takes us down to 75. 30 hours a week on farm chores, 25 left.. so if we were working 40 hour weeks, we would have 15 hours a WEEK of idle time. That's it. That's for extra projects, reading, shopping for stuff we need, volunteering, going for a walk, spending quality time together and with our animals, friends and family, leisure activities.. life outside of work. Real, life.

No....

No. That's not enough. This is our life we're talking about here, and we should really consider living life before we're too old to do anything about it..


I understand that it's my choice to have 30 hours a week of farm chores, gardening, working at home. But some people work two jobs to get that food, or to be able to afford various lifestyle choices. I choose to grow my food, and live this life. That's the kind of 'work' I'd rather do to keep myself fed. I'm not at all saying that my way is the right way, and everyone should work less so they can stay home and grow food. I realize that's not possible for everyone. What I'm saying is, I feel that we truly undervalue our time on this earth. And not just monetarily. Our hourly wages, is that really all we're worth?

Someone, somewhere at some point in time set this standard of living that many of us in this current societal structure have adhered to. I think it's about time that we reevaluate these standards as individuals. What do we really need in our lives? What are we paying money (and thus time) for that really doesn't benefit us? Is there some way we can shift our energy to be put into something more self-fulfilling instead of selling the best of ourselves to someone else and not getting an appropriate return? What can I do or create that I can use myself or sell/ barter/ trade for what I do need?

This is just the beginning for me. As my lifestyle shifts to one more rooted in nature, I am exploring more opportunities to be self-sufficient. I am working to shift to a more home-based means of accumulating income, and less of a need for one. When I envision 'retirement', I'm not old, leaving a company I've given my best years to, settling down and waiting to die. For me, retiring will be when my own life and how I live it provides enough abundance to no longer need to hit a punch clock on someone else's dream. The following 'meme' is basically a summation of what I'm getting at..

"My goal is to build a life
I don't need a vacation from"

That is essentially it. No one is saying anything about not having to work. A productive life will always require work. My goal is to get to a point where I only have to attend a "regular day job" enough to cover basic bills, and have the time I need to build, grow, seek and trade for the things I need myself. Put the effort, and time and hard work into my life, the land on which I live, and my community. For now, it is what it is. Slowly buy truly, we're taking back our time.

The Purge- Where to begin.

It's still strange to think about leaving this place. This little farmhouse on the Slough has been the first real tangible experience of home that I have had in my entire adult life. It's amazing what you can pack into 420 square feet, it's even more amazing what one can accumulate in just a few short years. It's time to start shedding the weight in more ways than one.

I don't know how I let myself get so cluttered. Life has a way of doing that... it was a bit overwhelming to think of at first. Where do I begin letting go? The obvious answer is within. I let my health get away from me. I'm carrying far more weight then I'm supposed to be. Both literally and everythingly... I need to get a few things off my shoulders.

I've been in this state of dis-ease before. There's no magic pill, there's no wonder diet. You have to want health to be healthy. So I'm starting the cleansing process with me. I'm doing everything I can to eliminate dietary stresses, and not allow external stresses that create extra weight. I love bread and cheeses and soy and all the delicious things I shouldn't eat having an autoimmune disorder. But no amount of delicious foods will ever be worth the pain and discomfort that I experience constantly if I include them in my diet. Sugar Cravings are real, caffeine Cravings are real... but I'm sick of the up and down, the peak and crash. I want to feel my best all the time and my body deserves what it needs to be healthy. And stress free.

Stress free is key, essentially. The next layer of stress to peel back is the one that surrounds me in my home. The space between myself and the four walls that contain me. We have accumulated a lot of things both together and separately. My folks brought me 11 totes of my entire history from Ontario which I have been systematically eliminating most of the contents of one by one. The idea of trying to store all of these things that I've been carrying around with me my whole life is extremely stressful, I have been doing my best to part with all and anything that does not spark Joy.


De-cluttering my home and my diet come hand-in-hand for me. I feel like I can't be successful with one if I don't also do the other. Because the impending move itself will be a big change with its own chapters of stress to overcome, doing everything we can to minimize our workload until then is critical. Both so that we can put the time needed into preparing our new site, and have a bit of an easier transition. Winter is coming, and I hear we are getting a real one this year.

The next zone to scale back is the one outside our house.. the hobby farm. Given that we will be starting from scratch at our next intended location, we decided to minimize our herd over the next few weeks. Starting with one of my favourite parts of hobby farming. The chickens. A few days after I came back from Ontario, our beautiful rainbow flock was decimated by a couple mink in one night. All of my rainbow layers, my new girls that I had been waiting several months for them to finally start laying Robin blue eggs, my favourite black Australorp... gone.

After two years of having chickens here and never having a problem with predators, we were confident that we had our Chicken Coop on lockdown. We quickly fixed the breach and caught the perpetrators, and haven't had a problem since. Unfortunately, all of the survivors but one are retirees that no longer lay. I had to make a difficult decision to re-home the flock. Given that they are no longer productive, it doesn't make sense for me to keep them as they are the most intensive animals that we have to maintain. When we are getting eggs, any of the expenses incurred would be gained back in their production. Having them here on our small hobby Farm is no longer sustainable. They will be moving along to greener pastures at the end of the month. I will really miss having them, but I'm confident that we will end up adopting a new flock when the time is right.

The pigs have got to go. Maybe we will keep a breeding pair and take them with us, but only if we're sure we can secure the infrastructure in time. The meat rabbits will be shuffled along to those who await. Clover might have to join us in the trailer for a while.

All of this in preparation for the ultimate purge- ourselves from this place. As much as we have put into this house and the land, it's time to move along. The house is old and falling apart, and we have outgrown the land as well as the relationship with it's owner. We'd grown too comfortable in these four walls and ignored the fact that maybe they weren't the best for us. We are grateful for the community we have connected with, and will happily take those bonds with us. Onward and Up....

Home and back- and a Health Crisis

It's been a crazy year. More big changes and intense happenings than I can count. I haven't been writing, and it bothers me. I suppose a part of the problem is I never know where to begin. Another being it's often hard to find the right words. And time management, and anxiety, and the list goes on. I'm taken aback but how quickly this year has passed. Time needs to slow down for just a minute.

I flew home on the 13th of September, Friday... A full moon. The entire Journey from take off- flight- and arrival, to departure and every moment in between was so critical in a shift that needed to happen within for me to find peace. Every person I got the chance to connect with reminded me exactly why I'm here and what I need to do to continue my journey. Thank you for that. So here's where I'm at...

It's no mystery that I've been struggling with my health. For those of you who have known me for a number of years probably remember the incredible health transformation I had made in my final years in Ontario. I was having next to no autoimmune flare ups, and I lost all the weight. All. Every unnecessary pound. I actually felt great most of the time, even my Endo was giving me a break. I blogged about it. I did well. I didn't eat a single crumb of bread. I made a green juice everyday, and after a year or so actually enjoyed them.

And then came a series of unfortunate happenings. Some really incredible ones too, but I experienced some dark times. I fell back onto old eating patterns because cheap (or free) available foods that kept well was all I could manage for a while. I was in a rough place financially, had just uprooted to a far off province, and of course.. lost my mother. Soon after uprooting, the house that I was staying in had a major mold problem (triggering my autoimmune shit) making me sick and homeless at the start of winter. The house was soon after condemned.

The intense spiral continued and I found myself under constant stress and frequent moments of anxiety. My body responded as it does. Sickness, inflammation and weight gain. I thought I had found my out when I found the little house in the country. After two years of not having a place to call home, I thought I'd struck gold. And I did in many ways. The community is amazing, and I couldn't have asked for better neighbours. And did I mention that million dollar view? At least a thousand times by now..

Unfortunately, the stress did not subside. Moving to the country in the middle of a harsh winter and not knowing anyone was a gamble. Still freshly self employed, every day of snow meant jobsite shutdown which meant no money. It snowed and snowed. The anxiety rocked me. Then not three months in to our tenancy in the little farm house, the landlord started with his threats. He had a problem with every little thing we did. This trend continued over the almost three years we lived there. Not being able to afford anything else (and loving everything about being there besides the owner), we decided to stick it out. Between his ignorance and constant use of poisons (without notice as he's supposed to before spraying), my stress levels and associated illness ran rampant.

But I was in denial. How could we find such a seemingly perfect place to be and yet have so many problems? It's a thing. I woke up every day for months with intense gut aches. It became my new normal. I continued with my challenge to find health. I started jogging in the evenings after work, I bought a juicer, I went to bed early. It seemed like I'd get somewhere for a little while, and then the struggle would intensify. I lost my energy. The daily aches and chronic fatigue caught up with me. I drowned it all out with distractions like farming and animals and volunteering for our local market.

This past summer I hit my Tipping Point. The truck had major problems. It cost a bunch of money to fix, but still not enough for it to be worth it to sell her. Having to take out a loan meant I would be getting short paychecks for a while, missing a few days lost me enough money that everything I had saved to fly home I had spent, and my folks ended up buying me the tickets to fly home. I was grateful for the wonderful gift, but at the same time horrendously anxious about leaving the farm and my job for that length of time with literally no money to spare.

It was almost a month to the day before I was supposed to fly to Ontario, when my landlord decided that evicting me was the best course of action for something we disagreed on. I was given 30 days notice, the day I was to vacate the premises was the day I was to land in Ontario. That was it. That was the straw that broke me. I was overwhelmed with sickness from the stress of the situation. I was absolutely devastated. On top of that, not three days later our Back-up Plan fell through and our friend was also evicted from the 5-acre property we had been slowly moving our farm to. By that point I was already in shock, and there wasn't much that would surprise me.

Going home was my saving grace. It couldn't have happened at a better time. My spirits have been uplifted. Spending time with my family was a good start in the healing process. Though I wasn't fully aware of what lied ahead in my journey to health, I'm 111% sure that I wouldn't have found the same kind of motivation elsewhere. I'm still tired. Everything still hurts. But you all reminded me that I will make it. That this journey is just another of my crazy adventures, and I'll figure it out. That under the pain and sickness, I'm still me.. Sadie Sea.

Stay tuned...

The Wandering Farmers- Life in Limbo

So here we are in a beautiful place, surrounded by wonderful Neighbors, doing what we do. We wander, we Farm, we Garden! In the past 3 years since we moved out here with nothing but a couple of garbage bags of clothes, our work tools and Starship Delilah our beloved Adventure mobile... Things have changed. We made the best out of our situation, and we found ourselves surrounded in abundance despite the fact that we have never been financially endowed.

The riches that we have acquired are worth so much more to us than money ever could be. We have gained access to land that we do not own to keep animals and big Gardens. We had the opportunity to experiment and learn about various crops we could grow in our area. We have been trusted to harvest crops for our neighbours and share the abundance with our community. And that's the most magical part... Our community!

We moved here in the middle of winter, January 2017. Shortly thereafter we were hit with a heavy ice storm that knocked out power and made it impossible for us to drive off of our road. I packed a small bag of snacks and my camera gear and went for a walk up the road. That day I met many of our neighbours. Had wonderful conversations with the elders on our road, was introduced to Leonard's woodshop, an old man Jack's epic junk pile. I met some cute dogs and their owners, said hello to the horses, and took beautiful photos of the birds and the scenery. By the end of my walk, this place felt like home.

Our first year here, our focus was very inward. We put most of our energy into our little garden, and we were able to grow enough produce to share with anyone and everyone that stopped by. Our second year we collected animals that needed rescuing from various situations, and we had ourselves a hobby farm! This year, our third year we were able to expand over neighbouring properties. We have been so blessed to be a part of a community that has wanted nothing more for us than to see us succeed.

And now, we have to move! When we first found out that our landlord is deciding to sell, we started preparing by moving the majority of our equipment and garden to the five-acre farm up the road. We borrowed the truck to park our 5th wheel trailer in the field, started fixing up the old barn to house the pigs, and knocked down the rotted old roof off the back in preparation to build a chicken coop. We had no idea at the time that we were about to be asked to move off of this property as well.

When our landlord first gave us notice, he had given us until mid September via a completely illegal eviction. A week later, the property owner of the five acres decided after 15 years of renting to a friend that they would like that property back. They had given us until October 1st. With thirty some odd animals, a pig about to give birth, and winter coming... this was all too soon.

We spent another week cycling through panic and exhaustion as we struggled for a plan. We took to social media to find us a new field and home. Much to our surprise, we had several offers. After careful deliberation, we chose our future plot. Rich in all resources, but one major thing remains... where us humans will call home.

Thankfully, both land owners have given us grace. I'm not sure how that worked out exactly, but I'm grateful. Come early spring, we will be vacating both farms. I'll miss the view, and our neighbours too, but the time for change has come.. every five years. It's been five years to the day since I woke up in BC after a 3 day bus ride west. It's almost unfathomable how far I've come since then. Given everything I've made it though to get where I'm at today, I suppose I can handle a little bit of life in limbo. Let the adventures begin.. again!

The Wandering Farmers

2019 has been an interesting year so far... I can't believe I didn't get a moment to write about it. In early March we acquired a 5-acre plot on which to Farm that includes a big old barn, a couple of old tractors use, and a big wide open space for a garden.

One of our neighbors helped us out with a large plow turn and prep the field for planting. We planted right away. April was intense. Each day we would dig a new row, plant more seeds and pull more weeds. We were overwhelmed with possibilities.

We managed to find a portable water pump, hundreds of feet of fire hose, a small rototiller, and a whole slew of hand tools on Craigslist and Marketplace, and sitting around at a friend's place going unused. Not to mention piles and piles of reclaimed Lumber and tin roofing that we could use to repair the Barn.

We adopted pigs to add to the herd in May, and they have been so much fun! We collectively discovered the pigs can be trained to go for a walk in the woods. One time we even managed to get the goats to come with us!

We have been doing what we can and acquiring as much as we need for minimal or no cost. Farming on borrowed land is never guaranteed, but it's nice to have all the things we need. We even managed to find a fifth wheel trailer that we traded for our old broken-down classic Plymouth Voyager. It was like it was meant to be.

It's been an amazing summer. Between the Sandy Shores Farm, the Sandy Shores Garden share and working our new job, we have made so much progress. We moved out here 3 years ago with nothing more than a van full of personal items, and now here we are! Full on hobby farmers in the Fraser Valley. I could not be more grateful.

Flux

April and October are equally my favourite months. Spring and Autumn, life and death, rise and fall. Intensity of the tumultuous spaces between Equinoxes and Solstices. The seasons in which you may require an umbrella, a parka, sunglasses and a tshirt in the same day. I never really thought so deeply about why that is before. I always thought because I'm born in April, and October is it's calendrical opposite. Is that a word? It is now..

I'm addicted to change. Hooked on the tides.. the moon has me wrapped around her finger. I've been that way my whole life. Hence the vagabond lifestyle. I spent almost a decade rotating my location depending on the seasons. Working a job that I could take leave from for months at a time to do something different.

I never thought I'd pull off the whole setting down "roots" thing. But having a foundation has turned out to be a little different than I initially percieved it to be- perhaps due to my transient nature.

It's not like one big taproot that's anchoring me firmly in place, it's more like widespread reaching root systems that can survive if sections of them are severed. Like tubers, or multiplier bulbs. I'm finding that I feel much more secure this way, yet if ever I can't stay in one place, there's always plan b. Or c.. but they're all connected to the tree that is me.

This moon did not disappoint. It was every bit of flux that I come to expect from this time of year. The bit of mystery and uncertainty and change that makes the experience exciting and challenging and keeps me on my toes.

Last October was epic on the scale of change in my personal and professional life, as well as spiritual. April seems to be following up with the intensifying ripples of the changes set in motion. It's almost too much to drink in..

That's all I have to say for now. I probably could be more vague, but it's the point that matters.. 

Sick and Tired.

I can't believe we're already getting into March. I guess what they say about getting older is true, every year that passes seems to go faster than the one before. In just over a month, I'll be turning 34 years... That in itself is hard to believe.

I don't know if I'm ready to blame it on the Mercury retrograde, but I've been feeling a little strange this week. I'm not usually an incredibly emotional person, but everything seems to be getting to me.

I could chalk it up to a midlife crisis type thing, or maybe the fact that the 5 year anniversary of my mother's passing it's coming up soon... or that it's also been five years since my cousin died from cancer. It could be a combination of all the things. Whatever it is, so many feels.

On one hand I just want spring to hurry up already, but on the other hand I wish I could just hibernate. Part of me can't wait to get out there in the garden, while the rest of me is so bloody tired. I just want to take a big long nap- and still be able to function as required in society.

Actually, if I could do without the society part, I'd probably be fine. Maybe if I didn't hate money so much I wouldn't have such a hard time acquiring it. And stressing about it. And letting the lack thereof be the biggest factor in a lot of my life decisions.

I feel like lack of time and money are my two biggest hurdles- or should I say excuses as to why I've been neglecting my health. I don't know what my problem is. I found the strength and energy and time to somehow pull it off back home, and I was making less money back then.

Perhaps it's true that I had nothing else pressing besides my job at that point in my life, and finding my health became my obsession and my pastime. I need that again. I need to feel better to truly enjoy this life. But i'm struggling at finding the strength, willpower and motivation.

I'm sick and tired of carrying all this extra weight around. I don't want to wake up feeling like shit every day anymore. I'm sick of my guts hurting every time I eat. I'm sick of the intense pain I suffer for several days every 4 weeks. I'm tired of waking up tired all the time. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired, and even more sick and tired of complaining about it.

I need to find the energy to take care of myself so that I can continue to take care of all the beautiful animal friends I've made. I need to find my strength so that i'm still strong enough to handle them when they need to be. I need to find my will to make it up those beautiful mountains and wade the streams to hunt and fish and enjoy all the beauty I'm surrounded in.

 So, where to begin..

2 years, out here...

Already?! It feels like just yesterday we were driving out here to an icy, wind whipped valley in the middle of January to try our luck out on the farm. I remember how deafening the silence was the first few days. I remember being anxious to watch the snow melt so we could see what the ground below it looked like, and what it would take to start our gardens. I remember waking up to breathtaking views.. and I still do.

But a lot has changed here in year two. We finally had visitors! My folks made it down for my 33rd birthday, embarking on an epic journey on the road, with my new home as the destination. Though I've taken up residence a few good times in my travels, I'd never before had a home base stable [and for long] enough to be a destination. It was an incredible joy to experience adventuring the area with them, showing them my favourite hidden gems, and living vicariously through them on their epic journey. Shortly thereafter, my brother was on a flight out- his first time leaving the province. What an honour it was for me to host him.. and share my dream manifested, Sandy Shores Farm.

2017 was the year we planted seeds; 2018 was all about the roots. The decision to keep animals was a sign of comfort. As a wanderer, a sign of finding a comfortable place to hunker down for a while was more like building small structures from logs and rocks and branches. Shelters for firewood and a bench to sit on. Setting up a homestead is a whole new adventure for me. Something I've always dreamed of, without knowing how I'd find the means. I am beyond blessed to have this small-scale trial run on a rental property that includes a tiny house. We are discovering what we truly want, need and value in a plot of land which helps for consideration of future moves.

I find that every five years marks a peak for me in my journey, and 2018 did not disappoint. I'm enjoying the adventure of staying put a lot more than I thought I would. Last year was full of surprises that made it oh so sweet- like getting the green light from our landlord [and our wonderful neighbours!] to have animals on our tiny farm. The level of joy and alleviation of anxiety their presence brings is immeasurable. Having them join us [and getting a wood burning stove!] made this place our home.

Speaking of neighbours.. I would say, the most refreshing this about living in the country versus the city is how neighbourly folks are. I've lived in places for a year or more without the neighbours saying so much as 'hello'. Our first year, we were humbled by the community here. In year two, we found our place within it. Acquaintances became friends, some even like family.

I was disappointed for not making more time to attend the farmer's market, so I decided that it would be a good move to volunteer for the 2018 season. It seems as though I happened to show up at just the right time. What I thought would be going to help set up tents and pour coffee ended up being so much more than that. I took my place on the board as if it were meant to be. Good times were had, and friends were made. Together we took a good thing and made it better. I learned a lot about the local community, and met a bunch of amazing people within it! I'm excited to see what 2019 brings for our awesome little market.

As for My-Self...

It has been a beautiful but turbulent four and a half years since I decided to change my province of residency, and regrettably my health has seen much neglect. Finally, almost a full five years later, I'm finding my footing. And with finally finding an actual job in a trade I'd never have imagined to get into, financial stability is even in my foreseeable future. There are no more reasons or excuses for ignoring my health. My poor vessel has suffered enough! I managed to re-quit smoking, it's been just over a year. Now for everything else..

The Sage Thrive Challenge is being revived- this time, I want to keep the promise to myself of always maintaining my health. Big things are in the works on this little homestead, cleansing and purging, building and change. Stay tuned...


xo