Wednesday, July 23, 2014


it's been a strange summer. when the sun is out, the heat is intense. but otherwise, cool.
the sun hasn't been out as much as most summers. lots of overcast and rain. almost coastal weather..
not complaining, but it's strange no less.

i woke up this morning with a headache. not unusual i suppose, i've been getting them the past couple weeks. but today it was too much. i think the couple days of sun and humidity there got to me. i realized that i've been pushing myself pretty hard the past few weeks, and not sleeping. trying to get as much done as i can, and forgetting to rest. all of everything caught up to me, and i spent most of today in the garden or on the bed.

i'm glad that i got to see the first sunflower open. i was worried that i'd be gone already, as last year they didn't open til september when i was just leaving for Nova Scotia. they're huge this year, almost eight feet tall. i love them. i can't help but smile when i see sunflowers. some of the mammoth seeds were pushed into the ground the morning my mother passed, before i even knew that she was gone. only she was there with me..

i miss her. it's getting easier in the day-by-day, but those times that waves of emotions surface from the ocean within, there is no stopping their tidal force. some days i wish so much that she could see me now, that she could see me driving or taking off for the coast. sometimes i don't need to wish so much. sometimes i can feel her smile in the sun, her laughter in the wind.

one week left until retirement.

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