after 'sitting' so long, i'm a little nervous about not having a steady job and a fixed address for a while. i'm nervous about being truly and completely transient in my lifestyle, which is usually my preferred mode of existence. it's been too long is all, so i must transition slowly. i've started the process of scaling down before being on the move once again.
things are different this time. the last time i tripped around the countryside with a backpack, i didn't have much of an aim except to get away. i certainly don't regret it, i learned a lot of what i know from that journey. this time i'm looking to solidify the sense of transience in my life. if that makes any bit of sense. i've become used to being anchored, comfortable in domesticated life. i have unhealthy habits, do the same things often, i'm bored. not bored necessarily with the world around me, just my perspective of it. i long for the days that i miss this place, and become excited to return home. even if only for a little while..
i suppose that's the point. i'm getting back to my roots. the ones i grew myself, from the seeds planted in my mind by my mother. precious ideas like always have a plan b, and be ready for sudden change. be comfortable enough to call the countryside my home, and be safe.
two things i like having is a storage locker, and a gym membership. no matter what, i have somewhere to keep my stuff, and somewhere to shower. finding a place to sleep is an easier challenge, knowing that all my belongings are safe and dry for however long i need to leave them means a lot. i have both of these things already. i was sure to get a super cheap gym membership, only 20 bucks a month. that way if i leave for a few months at a time, i don't feel it's a much of a waste to reserve that membership.
i've decided that i'll keep the garage as a sort of home base here in my hometown. it's comfortable, and relatively inexpensive. there is room to sit and think or sort through my stuff or create something, and my gear is organized and stored in shelves and my mother's old dressers. no matter where i end up when i come back, i know there's a place in the heart of the city where i can sit comfortably and catch my breath. that way, regardless of what happens at the farmhouse while i'm gone, i know my personal belongings won't get caught up in the mix or left behind. there's always the possibility that one day these floods will get out of hand [i say as rainwater creeps under my feet] or that my housemates will decide to bail on the place for some other reason. i wouldn't blame them if they had to, but i wouldn't want the loss of some personal junk being a reason for any hard feelings.
one thing that has really come into perspective is just how much gear and clothing i've accumulated over the years. this is my first time really having everything i own in one place as opposed to being scattered between where i keep stuff and where i'm staying and some other friend's closet somewhere. i won't have to do any shopping for a while, when i wear through an undershirt or socks i know i have a surplus in the garage.
about the clothing.. i suppose one thing i've been taking for granted for a while is having a big ol' laundry hamper. it fits a few loads, and it's on wheels so i can drag it down the street to wash. i've gotten used to being able to just put on a fresh new entire set of clothes every day. sometimes if i get dirty enough at work twice a day, and by the end of the week i've got a couple loads. as a part of the scaling down process, i'm setting aside the things i really like to wear right now, and storing some in the drawers in the garage. i have to get used to laundry day fitting in a backpack instead of a 4 wheeled cart.
it's a kind of stress relief, really. having less and less to worry about right now. knocking expenses off the monthly budget list is nice too. the frightening part is knocking off the bi-weekly paycheck, something else i've come all too comfortable with. my savings will float me through a few months of expenses, but i'll have to find periodical or seasonal employment to keep chugging along. not that i'm worried about finding a job, just that comfort zone thing again. been in the same place a long while.
i have a few other resources lined up. i renewed my WWOOFing membership so that i can stretch my money while i learn new things and earn my keep on various organic farms out in the mountains. i have a backup job lined up in VanCity for when the time comes to rack up more loot. the reality of 'going home' is beginning to sink in. all in all, it's a good feeling.