bring it spring.. cabin fever

i'm starting to become anxious for the warmer weather. it's not unlike me to feel cabin fever about this time of year, but it's really starting to weigh on my spirit. i found myself snapping at matt about something silly, caught myself immediately and apologized.. i don't know what came over me. more irritated than usual, and it's not even pms! about this time of year i start to feel like a caged animal all backed into a corner. my anxiety isn't as overcoming as it has been in previous years, but it's certainly making itself known.

checking back i noticed that i wrote a similar blog post about this time last year, only it was a few weeks later than now. i wrote about how we had actually gotten a 'real' winter.. i think this one has last year's beat. it's cold. bitter cold. and i hate to complain because i know it could be worse, and so could my situation as it has been in the past.. i mean at least we have 'four walls and a roof over our heads' even if we have to bundle up in blankets and wear shoes indoors to keep warm. when it gets really cold our bathroom floor becomes soggy with condensation, another joy of living in a [not properly finished] basement.

we've almost been here a year, and it's our first winter in this apartment. a friend of mine at work is trying to convince us to move.. even though we have to 'deal with' some inconveniences living here, the pros far outweigh the cons. i had almost considered the offer to check out this other apartment but then i remembered... spring is coming.

so what if it's so bloody cold we have to stay bundled. so what if our bathroom is a wet room pretty well all winter. so what if it wasn't sealed properly when it was converted into an 'apartment'.. that's what we invested in dehumidifiers for. we might not have a 'real' kitchen but we have an enormous back yard, a firepit that we can actually use [bylaws in the city prohibit fires] and we're literally five minutes on foot from a grocery, health food store, natural deli, plus a walk-in clinic and pharmacy [if we ever needed it]. and a little further down is the gym that i joined [and finally opens in a week!]. on top of all that, we can walk downtown in twenty minutes, and get to work without transit if we so choose. and the price is right. i know, you get what you pay for, but everything about being here is more than worth it. this is the lowest  rent i've paid on an apartment. ever.

the apartment that i was offered to view was also a basement but properly finished with an actual kitchen. i took a stroll by, and there are no real windows that i could see on that level of the house. the yard is a lot smaller, with neighbours on one side, a pub on the other, and far too much shade for ever growing food. that and it's over the bridge onto the hill [much too far to walk to work] and the rent is a little higher. it seemed like a good idea in the moment that i was shivering in my living room.. but as they say, the grass isn't always greener. maybe that's not the exact saying but you know what i mean..

i could really use some sun... so pasty!

...and spring is coming! i wish it was a little more quickly, but at least i know i'm ready when it arrives. as soon as our bags of topsoil thaw, we'll be expanding the garden bed closest to the house so that we can include more perennials. i can't wait to dig in the dirt.. hell i can't wait to spend a decent amount of time outside without my skin feeling freezer burned all the time. i will be in my bliss the first day i can relax out back with a lawn chair, a good book and a glass of iced tea.

for now i'm keeping myself amused with half a dozen books about gardening, sustainability and business.. plus a bunch of free courses and lectures available at a website called Coursera. in fact, if it wasn't for that amazing resource for free learning, i probably would have lost my noggin long ago. i couldn't be more grateful to the person who shared with me the link, and i hope others will make use of it too. learning about what plants know, the basics of nutrition and how to change the world has certainly kept me positive while waiting out the winter blues. speaking of, i have some chili to make and some lectures to get caught up on, so i'll stop 'complaining' about the cold... for now.