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Saturday, April 5, 2014
Thursday, March 20, 2014
a walk in the dark.
it's been an interesting week so far.. a much welcomed end to a long winter season. earlier this week, i'd lost my cell phone for a couple hours. yeah, i know.. tragedy huh? haha.. but really, i hadn't realized that i'd 'lost' it until that morning my alarm didn't wake me. i searched the house high and low, tried messaging myself from my computer, and wondered what in the hell i was going to do in the event that i'd never found it. how will anyone get ahold of me? how will Matt and i communicate? how the hell will i know what time it is?! i'd have to buy a watch on my break. as soon as i had finally accepted the fact that my phone was nowhere to be found and that i would indeed have to go the day without it, i found it in my coat pocket. how it'd gotten there i wasn't sure as i didn't leave the house the night before.
anyway, it was a strange array of emotions i had gone through for the loss of this pocket sized technical device. i had realized truly all that it is to me now that i no longer had it.. i rely on it even to do my job more efficiently as everything i do is timed, and i somehow manage to kill watches [or really anything i try to wear around my wrists at work]. i have alarms for everything, all my numbers are saved, and i monitor my activities daily with an app that connects my fitbit to my phone via bluetooth. my oh my how 'connected' i have become. hell i didn't even mention social media, which is now my main means of communication with dozens of people, some of which i talk to on an almost daily basis through this media alone.
and then there was today. around 4:30 in the morning [roughly five minutes after my first alarm goes off] the sound of the power going out was what got me out of bed. after a few minutes passed and the candles were lit, it became apparent that it wouldn't be coming back on any time soon. i was instantly annoyed that i couldn't press any juice for the day, or make my breakfast smoothie. i had even become spoiled by technology to get some nutrients into me so i can go about my day. my time was up, and i had to leave.. only to realize it wasn't just our house.. or our street... the power was out all the to work and in the mall itself.
there was no lights but the moon out in the suburbs. and it felt creepy.. there's something i can't explain about the feeling of being in the city in the pitch black. the forest, it feels right in the dark of night but in the concrete jungle.. it was mildly unsettling at first. once my eyes had adjusted, the walk was more fun. i felt like a ninja, sneaking through the town unseen in the hours before daylight. as far as i could tell, there was certainly no weather related reasons for a power outage, and it was quite widespread to be a simple downed line. i can never help but wonder what's happening.. sometimes i even think it's planned just to get the masses used to long bouts of time without power.
as i came up out of the suburbs where the main street meets the highway i could see a glare off the damp asphalt ahead. the traffic lights were still on. it was so eerie.. no street lights, no houses lit, just darkness.. and then as if completely missed by the outage stands this one traffic signal on it's green-yellow-red rotation without skipping a beat. then i start to think, as i always do in power outages, if this might be 'it'. and what i'd be doing with the rest of my day/week/life if it never ever came back on. what all of us would be doing...
yeah.
did i mention, it's the first day of spring?! HAPPY EQUINOX!!!! #nomoresnow ;)
anyway, it was a strange array of emotions i had gone through for the loss of this pocket sized technical device. i had realized truly all that it is to me now that i no longer had it.. i rely on it even to do my job more efficiently as everything i do is timed, and i somehow manage to kill watches [or really anything i try to wear around my wrists at work]. i have alarms for everything, all my numbers are saved, and i monitor my activities daily with an app that connects my fitbit to my phone via bluetooth. my oh my how 'connected' i have become. hell i didn't even mention social media, which is now my main means of communication with dozens of people, some of which i talk to on an almost daily basis through this media alone.
and then there was today. around 4:30 in the morning [roughly five minutes after my first alarm goes off] the sound of the power going out was what got me out of bed. after a few minutes passed and the candles were lit, it became apparent that it wouldn't be coming back on any time soon. i was instantly annoyed that i couldn't press any juice for the day, or make my breakfast smoothie. i had even become spoiled by technology to get some nutrients into me so i can go about my day. my time was up, and i had to leave.. only to realize it wasn't just our house.. or our street... the power was out all the to work and in the mall itself.
there was no lights but the moon out in the suburbs. and it felt creepy.. there's something i can't explain about the feeling of being in the city in the pitch black. the forest, it feels right in the dark of night but in the concrete jungle.. it was mildly unsettling at first. once my eyes had adjusted, the walk was more fun. i felt like a ninja, sneaking through the town unseen in the hours before daylight. as far as i could tell, there was certainly no weather related reasons for a power outage, and it was quite widespread to be a simple downed line. i can never help but wonder what's happening.. sometimes i even think it's planned just to get the masses used to long bouts of time without power.
as i came up out of the suburbs where the main street meets the highway i could see a glare off the damp asphalt ahead. the traffic lights were still on. it was so eerie.. no street lights, no houses lit, just darkness.. and then as if completely missed by the outage stands this one traffic signal on it's green-yellow-red rotation without skipping a beat. then i start to think, as i always do in power outages, if this might be 'it'. and what i'd be doing with the rest of my day/week/life if it never ever came back on. what all of us would be doing...
yeah.
did i mention, it's the first day of spring?! HAPPY EQUINOX!!!! #nomoresnow ;)
Friday, March 14, 2014
Friday, February 28, 2014
seasonally affected.
yea, i get it.. we live in canada, we have this thing called 'winter', and it's cold for half the year. but damn, what is it about this winter..? the fact the we finally got one? that it's been steady cold for months on end with maybe a day or two above freezing? i don't know maybe all of it.. i just... can't wait for it to be over.
literally.. it's getting at me. maybe i'm just getting old.. but i've been wanting ever so badly to move to a warmer climate. the fact that i'd be able to grow more too.. mmm food. haha. i swear it's been getting colder every day this week, and it's supposed to be colder yet on the weekend?! dah! i don't even want to drag my clothes to the laundromat.. it's a good thing i lost the capacity to sweat weeks ago. for real, i've been working out just to get warmed up. i have to nearly kill myself to break that sweat.. that might be the very one and only thing i'd miss about the colder weather. then again, sweating it off is far too horrible a challenge, and then there's always hypothermia... i'm really not trying to sound like i'm complaining, but.. i am. ha.
maybe it's not just me. according to 'news media', meteorologists are even saying, dayumn it's cold! coldest winter we've had in decades apparently. i've been here almost three decades, and yeah in that span of time i remember some crazy winters, big storms and long stretches of ridiculous cold. most notably, the years that i spent living outside in late high school and early adulthood. there were nights and even entire weeks i'd have to find much warmer places to hide, but nothing like this. i can't even imagine being in that position this year. weeks on end with minus double digits, it's so draining. to all my still homeless/vagabond homies, my heart goes out to you. oh and those of you further north, out west, and pretty much everyone else in this ice encapsulated country.. stay safe and warm tonight.
my skin is dry, my lips and fingers are split, the outermost curves of my thighs and butt cheeks are thoroughly chapped with frostbite from weeks of walking to work in the bitter wind [despite the layers], and my apartment is a bloody ice box. it's even freakin freezing at work. i wish it was more snow and less bitter, mind numbing frost burning wind. scrap that, i just wish it'd be over soon. not too quick though, the thaw will be sure to wreak havoc on my subterranean dwelling [as it already has]. bring it on spring.
literally.. it's getting at me. maybe i'm just getting old.. but i've been wanting ever so badly to move to a warmer climate. the fact that i'd be able to grow more too.. mmm food. haha. i swear it's been getting colder every day this week, and it's supposed to be colder yet on the weekend?! dah! i don't even want to drag my clothes to the laundromat.. it's a good thing i lost the capacity to sweat weeks ago. for real, i've been working out just to get warmed up. i have to nearly kill myself to break that sweat.. that might be the very one and only thing i'd miss about the colder weather. then again, sweating it off is far too horrible a challenge, and then there's always hypothermia... i'm really not trying to sound like i'm complaining, but.. i am. ha.
maybe it's not just me. according to 'news media', meteorologists are even saying, dayumn it's cold! coldest winter we've had in decades apparently. i've been here almost three decades, and yeah in that span of time i remember some crazy winters, big storms and long stretches of ridiculous cold. most notably, the years that i spent living outside in late high school and early adulthood. there were nights and even entire weeks i'd have to find much warmer places to hide, but nothing like this. i can't even imagine being in that position this year. weeks on end with minus double digits, it's so draining. to all my still homeless/vagabond homies, my heart goes out to you. oh and those of you further north, out west, and pretty much everyone else in this ice encapsulated country.. stay safe and warm tonight.
my skin is dry, my lips and fingers are split, the outermost curves of my thighs and butt cheeks are thoroughly chapped with frostbite from weeks of walking to work in the bitter wind [despite the layers], and my apartment is a bloody ice box. it's even freakin freezing at work. i wish it was more snow and less bitter, mind numbing frost burning wind. scrap that, i just wish it'd be over soon. not too quick though, the thaw will be sure to wreak havoc on my subterranean dwelling [as it already has]. bring it on spring.
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
get fit or die!
oh hey. i promise this time it's not blogger neglect.. i've just been spending most of my time on my other blog, the one dedicated to getting my ass back in shape. yea, it's been a goal of mine for a while. something i've had to dig deep into research for as i have 'underlying conditions' that make things like weight loss and regular sleep a hassle for me. well, i'm not giving up.. i'm on a mission.
so if you don't see me posting here for a while i promise it's not because i've fallen off the planet, but rather that i've been 'in the zone'. feel free to follow me as i post publicly about my struggles and triumphs over at The Sage Thrive Challenge. it isn't much yet, but i hope one day it will be my biggest success story.
so if you don't see me posting here for a while i promise it's not because i've fallen off the planet, but rather that i've been 'in the zone'. feel free to follow me as i post publicly about my struggles and triumphs over at The Sage Thrive Challenge. it isn't much yet, but i hope one day it will be my biggest success story.
Saturday, February 8, 2014
bring it spring.. cabin fever
i'm starting to become anxious for the warmer weather. it's not unlike me to feel cabin fever about this time of year, but it's really starting to weigh on my spirit. i found myself snapping at matt about something silly, caught myself immediately and apologized.. i don't know what came over me. more irritated than usual, and it's not even pms! about this time of year i start to feel like a caged animal all backed into a corner. my anxiety isn't as overcoming as it has been in previous years, but it's certainly making itself known.
checking back i noticed that i wrote a similar blog post about this time last year, only it was a few weeks later than now. i wrote about how we had actually gotten a 'real' winter.. i think this one has last year's beat. it's cold. bitter cold. and i hate to complain because i know it could be worse, and so could my situation as it has been in the past.. i mean at least we have 'four walls and a roof over our heads' even if we have to bundle up in blankets and wear shoes indoors to keep warm. when it gets really cold our bathroom floor becomes soggy with condensation, another joy of living in a [not properly finished] basement.
we've almost been here a year, and it's our first winter in this apartment. a friend of mine at work is trying to convince us to move.. even though we have to 'deal with' some inconveniences living here, the pros far outweigh the cons. i had almost considered the offer to check out this other apartment but then i remembered... spring is coming.
so what if it's so bloody cold we have to stay bundled. so what if our bathroom is a wet room pretty well all winter. so what if it wasn't sealed properly when it was converted into an 'apartment'.. that's what we invested in dehumidifiers for. we might not have a 'real' kitchen but we have an enormous back yard, a firepit that we can actually use [bylaws in the city prohibit fires] and we're literally five minutes on foot from a grocery, health food store, natural deli, plus a walk-in clinic and pharmacy [if we ever needed it]. and a little further down is the gym that i joined [and finally opens in a week!]. on top of all that, we can walk downtown in twenty minutes, and get to work without transit if we so choose. and the price is right. i know, you get what you pay for, but everything about being here is more than worth it. this is the lowest rent i've paid on an apartment. ever.
the apartment that i was offered to view was also a basement but properly finished with an actual kitchen. i took a stroll by, and there are no real windows that i could see on that level of the house. the yard is a lot smaller, with neighbours on one side, a pub on the other, and far too much shade for ever growing food. that and it's over the bridge onto the hill [much too far to walk to work] and the rent is a little higher. it seemed like a good idea in the moment that i was shivering in my living room.. but as they say, the grass isn't always greener. maybe that's not the exact saying but you know what i mean..
...and spring is coming! i wish it was a little more quickly, but at least i know i'm ready when it arrives. as soon as our bags of topsoil thaw, we'll be expanding the garden bed closest to the house so that we can include more perennials. i can't wait to dig in the dirt.. hell i can't wait to spend a decent amount of time outside without my skin feeling freezer burned all the time. i will be in my bliss the first day i can relax out back with a lawn chair, a good book and a glass of iced tea.
for now i'm keeping myself amused with half a dozen books about gardening, sustainability and business.. plus a bunch of free courses and lectures available at a website called Coursera. in fact, if it wasn't for that amazing resource for free learning, i probably would have lost my noggin long ago. i couldn't be more grateful to the person who shared with me the link, and i hope others will make use of it too. learning about what plants know, the basics of nutrition and how to change the world has certainly kept me positive while waiting out the winter blues. speaking of, i have some chili to make and some lectures to get caught up on, so i'll stop 'complaining' about the cold... for now.
checking back i noticed that i wrote a similar blog post about this time last year, only it was a few weeks later than now. i wrote about how we had actually gotten a 'real' winter.. i think this one has last year's beat. it's cold. bitter cold. and i hate to complain because i know it could be worse, and so could my situation as it has been in the past.. i mean at least we have 'four walls and a roof over our heads' even if we have to bundle up in blankets and wear shoes indoors to keep warm. when it gets really cold our bathroom floor becomes soggy with condensation, another joy of living in a [not properly finished] basement.
we've almost been here a year, and it's our first winter in this apartment. a friend of mine at work is trying to convince us to move.. even though we have to 'deal with' some inconveniences living here, the pros far outweigh the cons. i had almost considered the offer to check out this other apartment but then i remembered... spring is coming.
so what if it's so bloody cold we have to stay bundled. so what if our bathroom is a wet room pretty well all winter. so what if it wasn't sealed properly when it was converted into an 'apartment'.. that's what we invested in dehumidifiers for. we might not have a 'real' kitchen but we have an enormous back yard, a firepit that we can actually use [bylaws in the city prohibit fires] and we're literally five minutes on foot from a grocery, health food store, natural deli, plus a walk-in clinic and pharmacy [if we ever needed it]. and a little further down is the gym that i joined [and finally opens in a week!]. on top of all that, we can walk downtown in twenty minutes, and get to work without transit if we so choose. and the price is right. i know, you get what you pay for, but everything about being here is more than worth it. this is the lowest rent i've paid on an apartment. ever.
the apartment that i was offered to view was also a basement but properly finished with an actual kitchen. i took a stroll by, and there are no real windows that i could see on that level of the house. the yard is a lot smaller, with neighbours on one side, a pub on the other, and far too much shade for ever growing food. that and it's over the bridge onto the hill [much too far to walk to work] and the rent is a little higher. it seemed like a good idea in the moment that i was shivering in my living room.. but as they say, the grass isn't always greener. maybe that's not the exact saying but you know what i mean..
i could really use some sun... so pasty!
...and spring is coming! i wish it was a little more quickly, but at least i know i'm ready when it arrives. as soon as our bags of topsoil thaw, we'll be expanding the garden bed closest to the house so that we can include more perennials. i can't wait to dig in the dirt.. hell i can't wait to spend a decent amount of time outside without my skin feeling freezer burned all the time. i will be in my bliss the first day i can relax out back with a lawn chair, a good book and a glass of iced tea.
for now i'm keeping myself amused with half a dozen books about gardening, sustainability and business.. plus a bunch of free courses and lectures available at a website called Coursera. in fact, if it wasn't for that amazing resource for free learning, i probably would have lost my noggin long ago. i couldn't be more grateful to the person who shared with me the link, and i hope others will make use of it too. learning about what plants know, the basics of nutrition and how to change the world has certainly kept me positive while waiting out the winter blues. speaking of, i have some chili to make and some lectures to get caught up on, so i'll stop 'complaining' about the cold... for now.
Saturday, February 1, 2014
creative juices
turns out i've actually been having some fun with this juicing thing. i mean my goal is to improve my overall health, but it's had some other side effects. i feel like my mind is more clear than usual since i've been focusing more on what goes into my body.. a super concentration of goodness and nutrients straight into me. i'm in love with my juicer...
..and suddenly feeling a lot more creative. i've been in a slump for a long, long time.. having a really hard time expressing myself with words, or with colours.. i've been looking at this small pile of blank canvasses for months and was finally inspired today to blow off the dust and make use of them. we've been slowly turning our little basement apartment into our own little hideaway, some paint here and there, some art and a random collection of decor. the kitchen is where i spend the majority of my time when i'm home, so i spent a little extra time making it look extra fresh. red green and gold is the theme of the room, so i decided to carry the theme to the blank canvasses.
i sketched loosely onto each blank slate a rough drawing of an abstract-ish mushroom, trying hard not to think too much about it, just let the graphite do it's thing. i ended up with a whimsical trio of oblong mushrooms that will be a series i will use to hide a hole in the wall beside the cellar door. we've decided since the apartment has been so long in disrepair that we would do repairs of our own to a point, and use our creativity to somply dress it up to make it feel more like home.
the weather finally eased up a little today, instead of minus a million below zero it's now above freezing and raining on top of the snow. yum.. well on the plus side i finally had the nerve to make a couple trips to the grocer to stock up on produce for the rest of the weekend. selection usually isn't so great on sundays, and there are things i simply cannot juice without. speaking of.. juicing in itself has become an activity in which i get to express a little more creativity. i seem to be building a skill in blending juices, learning little tricks to keep it fresh and flavours that work well together. i never in a million years would have seen myself willingly comsuming raw cabbage or an entire grapefruit, let alone having them together in a glass. with a few other fruits in there you can't even taste the greenery. i'm a juicer ninja... and i have some more painting to do. toodles!
..and suddenly feeling a lot more creative. i've been in a slump for a long, long time.. having a really hard time expressing myself with words, or with colours.. i've been looking at this small pile of blank canvasses for months and was finally inspired today to blow off the dust and make use of them. we've been slowly turning our little basement apartment into our own little hideaway, some paint here and there, some art and a random collection of decor. the kitchen is where i spend the majority of my time when i'm home, so i spent a little extra time making it look extra fresh. red green and gold is the theme of the room, so i decided to carry the theme to the blank canvasses.
i sketched loosely onto each blank slate a rough drawing of an abstract-ish mushroom, trying hard not to think too much about it, just let the graphite do it's thing. i ended up with a whimsical trio of oblong mushrooms that will be a series i will use to hide a hole in the wall beside the cellar door. we've decided since the apartment has been so long in disrepair that we would do repairs of our own to a point, and use our creativity to somply dress it up to make it feel more like home.
the weather finally eased up a little today, instead of minus a million below zero it's now above freezing and raining on top of the snow. yum.. well on the plus side i finally had the nerve to make a couple trips to the grocer to stock up on produce for the rest of the weekend. selection usually isn't so great on sundays, and there are things i simply cannot juice without. speaking of.. juicing in itself has become an activity in which i get to express a little more creativity. i seem to be building a skill in blending juices, learning little tricks to keep it fresh and flavours that work well together. i never in a million years would have seen myself willingly comsuming raw cabbage or an entire grapefruit, let alone having them together in a glass. with a few other fruits in there you can't even taste the greenery. i'm a juicer ninja... and i have some more painting to do. toodles!
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